Thursday, May 1, 2008

Ban all those SUV's!

The banking meltdown and the residual credit crunch and the world
recession have been blamed on the lack of "Risk Managers for Hedge
Funds and Derivatives". It is sort of "who was watching the store?"
argument. This is a typical government operation: "Hey it was alright
when I left..." mentality. Well, now the Legislators at every level
are scrambling to come up with a reasonable argument they can sell
the constituents that will suave their pain at the gas pump.

Hey, your ex-husband thought it would be nice for you to have this
Lexus SUV or this Lincoln Navigator to take all the kids to soccer
or baseball practice. Or maybe just before your divorce...the guy
buys this big four door, four wheel drive smokin' Tundra....with
the big engine. King of Road...you are.....and people better pay
attention to whatever you do on the road. OK, so there are few
Hummer guys...that can slam your door around a little....but not
many! Hey, you have made a statement and people better pay attention!

Well now, we are the ones that are starting to pay attention. Every
time we fill up....we are looking at over $100 bucks. Every time
we put your hard earned cash into the bottomless tank..we start to
wonder: is this "statement" really worth the $600 a month in gas
alone? The saddest part of the story is that the price of a gallon
of gas will probably be closer to $5 or $6 bucks a gallon in July
...making those fill-ups around $150 dollars to drive 250 miles!

We remember so well the 1976 year of the Carter....."The American
people will have to live with pain!"....and soon we were every
other day...odd and even and waiting in gas lines for hours upon
hours! Those signs on the gas stations abounded: "Out of Gas".
The term "Gas Guzzlers" became part of the American parlance. Our
"Muscle Cars" that got 9 to 10 miles per gallon ...got expensive
to accelerate around those Volkswagen Bugs. Those old Lincoln
Continentals, Cadillacs and Dodge Chargers....all soon became:
"persona non grata". People would look at you drive those monsters
on the highway or street and just shake their heads. You see;
gasoline is an expendable resource product. You buy it and use it
...much as you do paper towels. This is not a great product to try
and save for a rainy day. The greatest part of this story is the
cost of Diesel Fuel. Diesel is up to 30 cents more a gallon than
high test gasoline! How about those frugal types that bought
those Diesel Mercedes cars...or how about all our Truckers, Buses
and Farm Equipment? We are all going to be - Paying the price!

Now this brings us to the Arrowhead Water bill issue: Yes folks,
the end times will soon to be here. Arrowhead will be raising the
price of delivery! We got the letter yesterday. Beginning next
month...the delivery cost will go up a buck plus! They call it a
"delivery surcharge" that will be added. They are sort of following
what the Airlines are doing. How about the cost of delivering all
our food products? What about the cost of delivering anything for
that matter? Someone is going to have to pay...and you can bet your
buttons....it will not be the producers or farmers or manufacturers
of these products.

So, we are proposing this Environmental edict: Ban all SUV's and Big
Pick-ups every other month! They can drive them based on the last
number of their license plate. Odd would mean they could drive
January, March, May...et cetera. Even and Letters would be
February, April, June....et cetera! Park those "Gas Guzzlers" and
lower the big demand for both high test and Diesel. We can even do
it...just in certain Urban areas or States. California for example
in the larger cities of San Francisco, Los Angeles - Orange County
and San Diego! New York, Miami, Chicago...the same idea! Hey it
might even lower the demand to the point..that the price in Summer
may not reach that $6 dollars a gallon.

If you think you have a better idea.....bring it on! If you think
you have what it takes to be a great "Risk Manager" we will surely
find out - and lord knows we need that!

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